Managing The Guest List
These calculations are simply based on the number of folks you should invite to get close to your target guest count and how much you will spend at minimum based on our data for the average cost per guest. Keep this in mind when selecting venue, the budget, preferred vibe, desired interaction. You may also want to consider having A list and B list guests. They recommend couples to create an ideal list, not leaving anyone out, and seeing where we land. Depending on venue capacities, we can adjust their guest list as needed and then create multiple lists and use the A-list and B-list approach. Don’t forget to abide by proper plus-one etiquette for relevant guests as we make this master list.
If we invite 100 guests, we can expect 75–85 to attend. In that case, we’ll have space to send our additional invites to a B-list. If we’re going to do this, they recommend sending our A-list 16 weeks out, give them a month to RSVP and, if we start to see folks RSVP ‘Not attending,’ then we can start sending B-list invitations out. Sending our A-list invites and RSVP deadline early will allow us to send B-list invites in a way that won’t make guests feel like they’re last-minute additions. Keep the B-list RSVP date a full month ahead of your vow renewal to not rush their decision. Additionally, it’s smart to order a few more invitations than we need to accommodate any last-minute guest additions.
- Determine your wedding budget.
- Confirm your venue capacity.
- Make a list of guests you absolutely must invite.
- Are you inviting kids?
- Which guests would you enjoy seeing outside of the wedding day?
- Do your relatives or parents get a say in who’s invited?
- Who will you stay in touch with five years from now?
- How many guests are married or in a long-term relationship?
- Do we genuinely want this person there, or do we feel obligated to invite them?
- Have we spoken to this person in the last year—and would we choose to spend personal time with them now?
- Would we feel disappointed or sad if they couldn’t make it?
- Are we inviting this person because we want to—or because we think we should?
- We initially decided on inviting immediate families, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, cousins minor-aged children, friends
- Potentially opening it up to the cousins adult children that stay up-to-date with us.
Dress Code
When you’re designing our wedding website, we recommend adding the wedding attire options wording somewhere on the homepage along with the welcome message and other essential day-of details, such as the wedding date, venue and time. If your website includes multiple event pages (e.g. welcome reception, wedding day, post-wedding brunch), you can add a dress code for each event. To give guests a detailed explanation of the dress code(s), direct them to an FAQ page on your wedding website where you can write more about the attire in a few sentences.
For FAQ:
Answer the above question by stating your dress code in a direct sentence (“The dress code for our wedding is…”). Following that, you can include a brief explanation with attire suggestions and specifics—for example, that your venue requires a jacket and tie or if the ceremony will take place on the beach. If there is no specific dress code, you should clearly mention that to prevent any confusion for guests.
Once you’ve determined how to describe your wedding attire, use this FAQ if you want to encourage or discourage certain attire for your dress code. Keep the wording specific but also realistic—avoid lengthy instructions or too many special requests that will burden guests. Share a brief recap of your vision for the wedding day, such as the theme or color palette, to help people understand what you’re asking for. Let guests know that you’d like them to dress in a certain color or fabric (for example, sequined looks) but remember that it’s frowned upon to make those requests an absolute requirement.
| Dress Code Type | Examples | Note Specific to Type | Description / Wording for Renewal Website | Wording for Invitation |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| White-Tie Attire | Link | Elegant events like state dinners, royal banquets and very formal weddings. Not very common. | White-tie attire: We ask men to wear tailcoats and women to wear floor-length evening or ball gowns. Top hats and gloves are encouraged. White-tie attire: We ask that you don tailcoats or floor-length evening or ball gowns. Top hats and gloves are encouraged. | We request the honor of your presence at our elegant white-tie affair on [wedding date]. Dress code: Please wear tailcoats or ball gowns. |
| Black-Tie Attire | Link | Take place later in the day/evening. Following white-tie, this is the next most formal. | Black-tie attire: We ask men to wear a tuxedo and women to wear a floor-length gown. Black-tie attire: Kindly wear a tuxedo or floor-length gown. | You are cordially invited to the wedding of [couple’s names] on [wedding date]. To match the festive and formal event, we politely ask that you dress in black-tie attire. Get ready for a magical and beautiful evening! |
| Black-Tie-Optional Attire | Link | Has more flexibility between black-tie and formal. | Black-tie-optional attire: We ask men to wear a tuxedo or a dark suit and tie and women to wear an evening gown or a midi- or knee-length cocktail dress. Black-tie-optional attire: We ask that you wear a tuxedo or dark suit and tie. Alternatively, an evening gown or a midi- or knee-length cocktail dress would be appropriate. | Please join us for a celebratory evening of love and laughter. Our wedding is black-tie optional, so please feel free to wear your best tuxedo, dark suit or evening gown. |
| Formal Attire | Link | Most popular wedding dress code. | Formal attire: We suggest men wear a suit in any color and women wear a cocktail dress or a nice pantsuit. Formal attire: We suggest guests wear a suit in any color or a cocktail dress (or even a nice pantsuit). | We cannot wait to be with you on our special day! The wedding dress code is formal attire, which means we suggest you wear a suit of any color, nice cocktail dress or pantsuit. |
| Cocktail Attire | Link | Falls between semi-formal and formal. Flexibility on hemlines, referring to the 1950s. | Cocktail attire: We suggest men wear a suit or dress shirt with a tie and women wear a midi- or knee-length dress or dressy separates. Cocktail attire: A suit or a dress shirt with a tie is suggested. A midi- or knee-length dress or dressy separates are also welcome. | Come dance the night away with us wearing cocktail attire. Think smart clothing, like a suit or dress shirt and tie or knee-length dress. |
| Semi-Formal Attire | Link | Can be tricky. Semi-formal falls in the gray area between casual and formal. | Semi-formal attire: We ask that you wear semi-formal attire such as a cocktail-length dress or dressy separates for women and a suit and tie for men. Please note that the venue does not permit blue jeans or sneakers. Semi-formal attire: We ask that you wear semi-formal attire such as a cocktail-length dress, dressy separates or a suit and tie. Please note that the venue does not permit blue jeans or sneakers. | Join us for a jovial night celebrating [couple’s names] on [wedding date]. We ask that you wear dressy separates or a suit and tie for the affair. |
| Dressy Casual Attire | Link | Resembles more of semi-formal. Darker hues for evening, light colors for daytime. | Dressy casual attire: We want you to be comfortable at our wedding. The dress code is dressy casual attire. For this time of year in California, may we suggest the following attire: • Folks who’d like to wear a dress can wear sundresses, lightweight separates and flats or wedge heels for the outdoor ceremony on the lawn. • Alternatively, guests can wear a light dress shirt with khakis or other lightweight slacks; jackets and ties are optional. | We are excited to invite you to our wedding on [wedding date]! Please arrive in dressy casual attire, which is anything that is stylish yet comfortable. |
| Casual Attire | Link | Backyard wedding. Think also, business casual. | Casual attire: We suggest button-down shirts with khaki pants for men and sundresses with dressy flats or comfortable heels for women. Casual attire: We suggest button-down shirts with khaki pants or sundresses. Dressy flats or comfortable heels are welcome. | Prepare for a relaxed bash honoring [couple’s names] on [wedding date]. We request you wear casual attire that is comfortable and neat. |
| Daytime Attire | Link | Trendy colors, patterns and fabrics. But NO shorts, running gear or tennis shoes. | Daytime attire: Our wedding will be taking place outdoors in the grass. We suggest sundresses and sandals for women and button-down shirts and pants for men. Please, no athletic wear. Daytime attire: Our wedding will be taking place outdoors in the grass. We suggest sundresses and sandals or button-down shirts and pants. Please, no athletic wear. | Join us outdoors for a garden wedding on [wedding date]. Feel free to wear dresses and dressy casual suits. |